Category: Wisdom

Flipping the Coin Syndrome: Remembering Both Sides

7/7/2025

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to forget what you once believed?

We humans have a strange habit I call “Flipping the Coin Syndrome.” We treat our beliefs like a coin in our hand. When we’re staring at one side—the side we now agree with—it feels like the only truth. We forget that the other side even exists.

When we learn something new, it’s as if the old belief evaporates. We distance ourselves from it. We disown it. And then, ironically, we often start judging anyone who still holds that old view—as if we were never like them.

We forget that the coin still has two sides.

Think about it:

The ex-smoker who criticizes people for lighting up.
The newly spiritual person who scorns skeptics.
The reformed meat-eater who calls carnivores cruel.
The newly educated person who dismisses “ignorant” folks back home.

In all these cases, the judgment carries a kind of convenient amnesia. It’s as if we want to deny the simple truth that we once stood exactly where they’re standing now.

Why do we do this?

Perhaps because it’s uncomfortable to hold both sides of the coin in our mind at once. To admit that both perspectives have a reality to them. That our past self wasn’t simply “wrong,” but growing. That the people we’re judging are simply in process, just like we are.

We prefer certainty. Simplicity. The security of believing:

“Now I’m right. Then I was wrong.”
“I’m enlightened. They’re lost.”

But reality is rarely so neat.

The Cost of Forgetting

When we forget the other side of the coin, we don’t just lose empathy for others. We lose humility.

We lose the chance to see ourselves as travelers on a path rather than owners of the truth.

We also close the door on learning even more. Because what if the side we’re dismissing still has something to teach us?

Holding Both Sides

What if, instead, we practiced remembering?

Remembering where we used to be.
Remembering that growth is messy and slow.
Remembering that certainty can be a cage.

Imagine looking at someone you’re tempted to judge and asking:

“What did it feel like to see the world the way they do?”
“What did I need when I was there?”
“How would I have wanted someone to treat me?”

That’s not weakness. It’s wisdom.

An Invitation

We don’t have to flatten complexity. We can hold it.

We can remember both sides of the coin at once.

We can let our past selves humble us.
We can let other people’s current struggles soften us.
We can be firm in our values without forgetting our own evolution.

Judgment shrinks the world.
Compassion expands it.

If you find yourself flipping the coin today, try holding it steady in your palm. Look at both sides. See the whole picture.

You might find that truth is bigger than you thought.

What’s a belief you’ve changed your mind about? How do you treat people who still hold the view you used to?

we are onE

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