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Have you ever wondered why conflict seems inevitable with certain people in your life, especially family members? No matter how much you grow, they still treat you the way they always have—like the child, the troublemaker, or the person they once knew. This disconnect often leads to frustration, misunderstandings, and even emotional pain. The Root of Conflict: A Perception Gap Conflict often arises when who others think we are no longer matches who we have become. They interact with an outdated version of us, while we expect them to see and respect the person we are today. For example, a parent may still treat their adult child like they are incapable, simply because that’s how they remember them. Meanwhile, the child—now grown and independent—resents being treated that way. The result? Repeated arguments, emotional triggers, and a cycle of frustration. This dynamic isn’t just limited to parent-child relationships; it happens in friendships, romantic relationships, and even workplaces. The version of you that people hold in their minds is often based on past interactions, and unless something forces them to update their perception, they continue responding to you in the same old ways. Why People Struggle to See Our Growth People are naturally resistant to change—especially when it comes to relationships. Familiarity feels safe, even if the dynamic is unhealthy. When someone sees you differently, it forces them to question their role in the relationship. For example, a controlling parent might feel less needed if they acknowledge that their child has become independent. A long-time friend may feel threatened if they see you growing in ways they haven’t. A romantic partner may resist change because they fear losing the dynamic they once knew. Without realizing it, people may try to pull you back into old patterns not out of malice, but out of their own fears and insecurities. How We Keep Ourselves Stuck in Old Dynamics Even when we’ve grown, our reactions often reinforce the past version of us. If you’ve always argued with a parent who belittles you, reacting defensively only confirms their belief that you are still the same. If a friend still treats you like the reckless person you used to be, and you get frustrated instead of calmly correcting them, you feed their outdated perception. This is why it’s refreshing to meet new people. They see us as we are today—without the baggage of past interactions. But this doesn’t mean old relationships are doomed. They can be rekindled if both parties become aware of these dynamics. How to Shift the Relationship Dynamic 1. Understand Their Perception • Instead of assuming they are intentionally disrespecting you, recognize that they simply don’t see your growth yet. • Ask yourself: “What version of me do they see?” and “Why might they struggle to update that perception?” 2. Communicate Your Growth • You can’t expect people to just know you’ve changed. Show them through actions and words. • Example: Instead of saying, “I’m not a child anymore,” demonstrate it by handling situations with maturity and confidence. 3. Stop Reacting Like Your Old Self • When you react emotionally in a way that matches their outdated view of you, you reinforce it. • Instead, respond as your present self—with calmness, confidence, and clarity. 4. Give It Time • People don’t change their perceptions overnight. Consistently embody the new version of yourself, and eventually, they will have no choice but to recognize it. Final Thoughts Conflict in relationships isn’t always about who is right or wrong—it’s often about perception gaps. Your growth is real, but the people in your life may not see it yet. Instead of expecting them to automatically adjust, take responsibility for helping them see the new you. The more aware we are of these dynamics, the more power we have to break the cycle and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
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 I personally believe that life purpose is something we remember from a spiritual perspective rather than something we create. Of course, this depends on a person’s beliefs, and their viewpoint may differ. For me, I remembered my purpose when I discovered my passion—helping and motivating others to reach their full potential. I believe my purpose was already determined before I was born, but it remained dormant or was gradually unfolding as I matured. When the time was right, I became aware of it, understood it, and eventually began embodying it. This process has been gradual, but now my purpose is very clear to me: to learn, to experience, and to serve others. I believe there was a reason for me to come back to Earth, meaning my purpose was already determined before birth. Once my soul defined this purpose, it had to manifest it into reality—into a physical form—so I was born with this purpose written inside me. But here’s the key: It’s not that you are looking for your purpose. Your purpose has always been guiding you. We often think of purpose as something we must actively seek, as if it’s hidden somewhere outside of us. But in reality, our purpose is always present, subtly directing us through our experiences, passions, and even challenges. The process of life itself is designed to help us remember and align with it. An Analogy: The Meeting of Forgotten Purpose Imagine we all have a condition—not Alzheimer’s, but a type of forgetfulness where we remember bits and pieces, just not everything clearly. We find ourselves in a meeting but don’t remember why we’re there. The entire time, we’re trying to recall the purpose of the meeting and our role in it. We try different things to spark our memory, hoping to find something that feels right, but nothing fully clicks. Since our memory is unreliable, we rely on feelings and intuition. Deep down, we sense we’re in the right place—we planned to be here—but we’re not truly fulfilling our purpose because we don’t fully remember what we came to do. Others in the meeting are in the same situation. Some might remember more than others. Together, we start piecing together clues, helping each other recover fragments of our memory. As more people remember, the purpose of the meeting becomes clearer, and soon, things start moving in the right direction. The key to feeling at peace isn’t just remembering the purpose—it’s fulfilling it. Once we recall why we’re here, the anxiety and frustration fade, giving us clarity. Instead of spending all our time just trying to remember, we can focus on doing what we came here to do—contributing, making a difference, and even helping others remember their purpose too. For Spiritual and Non-Spiritual Perspectives For those on a spiritual path, the journey of purpose looks like this: Higher purpose → Manifested → Living and remembering our higher purpose → Fulfilling our purpose. For those who do not hold spiritual beliefs, purpose can still be deeply meaningful: Nothing → Something → Lost/Confused → Finding a purpose → Fulfillment. Even without believing in a higher purpose, one can still enter “the meeting” with a reason—to learn, to contribute, and to experience life. There’s nothing wrong with not believing in spiritual destiny. The key is long-lasting fulfillment, rather than chasing fleeting goals. Why Does Purpose Seem to Change? Why is it that sometimes we feel certain about pursuing something, only to realize later that it no longer feels right? Because your goal was never meant to last forever. It may have even been aligned with your larger purpose, but only as a fraction of what you were meant to accomplish. The universe guides you into doing something, then out of it, so you can continue fulfilling your greater purpose. Mind vs. Soul: The Illusion of Purpose Purpose exists for the mind at the human level—it needs direction to continue its journey. But the soul is already living its purpose, patiently progressing according to a greater plan. The struggle comes because the mind, limited by ego and human perception, cannot fully comprehend the soul’s deeper purpose. In many cases, the mind’s pursuit of purpose originates from the ego. The ego seeks identity, validation, and significance. It wants to feel special, to achieve something, to leave a mark. This is why people sometimes chase goals that later feel empty—because they were ego-driven rather than soul-aligned. But when the mind finally recognizes the soul’s true purpose, the two align, and purpose is naturally fulfilled. In other words, the moment you realize your true purpose, you are already living it. Whether you feel like you’ve accomplished or fulfilled your purpose is simply the mind trying to measure and understand something that was always in motion. A Lesson from 50 First Dates In 50 First Dates, Adam Sandler’s character, Henry, can be seen as a representation of God/Spirit Guide or an awakened friend trying to help someone (Lucy) recover her memory—just like how an awakened soul helps those who are still “asleep” remember their true purpose. Henry knows that Lucy will likely forget everything by the next morning, yet he has no expectations or frustration. Instead, he patiently works with her, bringing joy into her life each day. He meets her where she is, without force or pressure. Lucy, despite her memory loss, still experiences happiness in her day-to-day life. And Henry, through his unwavering commitment, lives with a sense of purpose every day. This mirrors the journey of awakening—some people forget who they are and why they’re here, but those who remember can gently guide them, not by forcing remembrance, but by being present, patient, and leading with love. In the end, whether one remembers or not, the key is to live with joy and purpose in each moment. “The world exists because of you, not the other way around.” - FeelaSoulphy  The smoke rises, weightless, free, A silent dancer upon the breeze. Unrushed, unbound, it twists and sways, A fleeting form, yet never fades. I watch—no, I feel—its flow, The same force moves through me, I know. No difference, no divide, no line, Just energy shifting, shape divine. The smoke sees me as I see it, No boundary drawn, no moment split. The watcher and the watched are one, A dance of light, a song unsung. And when the incense burns to ash, Its body fades, but not its path. It rises, merges with the air, Returning home, still everywhere. So too, we live, so too, we burn, A flicker bright, then we return. Not lost, not gone—just something new, The source awaits, the source is you. Imagine watching incense burn. The solid stick gradually turns to ash, releasing a delicate stream of smoke that twists and turns, rising, dispersing, and finally fading into the air. It’s a quiet, mesmerizing process—one that mirrors our own existence more than we realize.
In that moment, as you watch the smoke drift, there is an unspoken truth: you are observing it, and it is observing you. Not with eyes, but with presence. This is the essence of consciousness—awareness experiencing itself in infinite forms. The Observer and the Observed One of the most profound realizations in both spirituality and quantum physics is that observation changes reality. In quantum mechanics, the Observer Effect suggests that particles behave differently when they are being watched. This means that consciousness itself plays a role in shaping reality. Now, consider this: if you, as consciousness, are observing the smoke, and the smoke is also an expression of the same universal energy, then what separates you from it? In truth, nothing. The same energy flows through both of you, just expressed in different forms simultaneously. The incense burns, transforms, and eventually disappears—but its essence doesn’t vanish. It simply returns to its source, just as we do. Energy Never Dies—It Transforms Science tells us that energy cannot be created or destroyed; it only changes form. This is known as the First Law of Thermodynamics. The smoke that rises from the incense does not cease to exist—it merges back into the air, becoming part of something greater. Now, apply this to yourself. Our bodies, like the incense stick, burn through time. Eventually, the form dissolves, but the energy—the consciousness that we are—does not disappear. It returns to the source, to the infinite field of existence, only to take on new forms again. This understanding changes how we see life and death. Instead of fearing the end, we recognize it as a transformation, not a disappearance. How This Awareness Can Change Our Daily Lives 1. It Shifts Our Perspective on Death – Just as smoke is never truly lost, neither are we. Death is not the end, but a return. This brings peace in moments of loss. 2. It Deepens Our Presence – When we see that everything is a fleeting expression of the same energy, we cherish the present moment more. We become less attached to form and more connected to the essence of life. 3. It Reminds Us of Our Interconnectedness – If the same energy flows through everything, then separation is an illusion. The tree, the wind, the people around us—all are different expressions of the same universal presence. 4. It Encourages Flow and Acceptance – Smoke moves freely, adapting to whatever space it enters. When we adopt this fluidity in life, we resist less, suffer less, and align ourselves with the natural rhythm of existence. Conclusion The incense burns out, but the smoke does not die. It returns to its source, waiting to take shape again. And so do we. By recognizing that we are both the observer and the observed, we awaken to a deeper truth: consciousness is infinite, ever-changing, and always present. Life is not about clinging to form, but about embracing the beauty of transformation. Next time you watch smoke rise, pause for a moment. Feel its movement. See its freedom. And in it, recognize yourself.  Shealor Lake Trail by Silver Lake, Pioneer, California Ancient philosophers and sages dropped wisdom that still hits today—but let’s be real, if they had Twitter, they’d probably say it differently. Here’s how timeless truths sound in modern slang. Wisdom is wisdom, no matter the era. 1. Ancient Wisdom: “A wise man speaks because he has something to say; a fool speaks because he must say something.” – Plato Modern Translation: “Real ones drop knowledge, clowns just make noise.” 2. Ancient Wisdom: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” – The Golden Rule Modern Translation: “Be cool, get cool back. Be trash, get dragged.” 3. Ancient Wisdom: “He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.” – Confucius Modern Translation: “Master your own mess before you flex.” 4. Ancient Wisdom: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu Modern Translation: “You ain’t gonna make it to the top if you don’t start walking.” 5. Ancient Wisdom: “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates Modern Translation: “The more you know, the more you realize you don’t know sh*t.” 6. Ancient Wisdom: “You reap what you sow.” – Biblical Proverb Modern Translation: “Karma is a b*tch!” 7. Ancient Wisdom: “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” – Socrates Modern Translation: “If you’re grinding 24/7 but still feel empty, you’re just running in circles.” 8. Ancient Wisdom: “To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” – David Viscott Modern Translation: “Real ones vibe both ways.” 9. Ancient Wisdom: “A fool and his money are soon parted.” – Proverbs Modern Translation: “Blow your bag on dumb sh*t, end up broke real quick.” 10. Ancient Wisdom: “Silence is a source of great strength.” – Lao Tzu Modern Translation: “Real Gs move in silence. Loud ones just want attention.” |
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