 A great teacher doesn’t need to explain what they know. They teach by their presence-by simply being. Likewise, a great student doesn’t depend on a teacher’s words to learn. Instead, they observe in silence and recognize the lessons hidden in everything. Take an apple, for example. To an ordinary student, it might be just fruit. But to a great student, the apple is a profound teacher. It shows patience in how it ripens, simplicity in the joy it offers, and abundance in the seeds it carries. Inside this single apple are the seeds to produce the next apple trees and potentially thousands more apples just like it. It’s a reminder that growth and possibility are always present, even in something seemingly small. The apple also reminds us of the deep interconnection we share with nature. It serves humans by providing nourishment, animals by feeding and sustaining them, and even insects through pollination. This cycle of giving and receiving reflects the interconnectedness of all life. The apple teaches us how each part of creation serves and supports the greater whole, offering abundance not just for itself but for all. In short, a great teacher doesn’t have to teach, and a great student doesn’t have to be taught. The difference lies in awareness. A great student recognizes that every moment, every person, and every object is a potential teacher. Their awareness turns the world into a classroom. Thus, the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear.” This happens not because of the teacher, but because of the student’s own awareness of the lessons they recognize for themselves. Ultimately, a great student becomes their own teacher. They no longer need external guidance because their heightened awareness allows them to learn from life itself.
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 Land of Medicine Buddha, Soquel, California, USA “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung "Pain is certain, suffering is optional." - The Buddha “What you are aware of, you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you.” — Anthony De Mello Most people go through life unaware that they are suffering. They accept their struggles, frustrations, and negative emotions as “normal,” believing they are just part of life. But what if I told you suffering isn’t your natural state? What if you could break free, not by avoiding pain but by understanding it? Suffering is a state. Whether it’s a state of mind or being, it’s not permanent. Like any state, it can be changed—but only if you become aware of it first. The truth is, what we are aware of, we can control. What we are not aware of controls us. And for many of us, suffering has silently taken control, shaping our thoughts, actions, and relationships without our knowing it. Common Forms of Hidden Suffering Suffering isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it manifests as anger, jealousy, or self-doubt. Other times, it hides behind habits, expectations, or feelings of inadequacy. Here are some examples of hidden suffering: • Feeling uneasy when others succeed (comparison) • Holding grudges or clinging to the past (attachment) • Constantly worrying about the future (fear) • Struggling with self-worth (insecurity or failure) • Numbing yourself with distractions like alcohol, drugs, or excessive fun (escape) Even subtle feelings, like frustration when stuck in traffic or envy when a friend gets a new car, can point to deeper unresolved suffering. Why Awareness Matters The first step to overcoming suffering is awareness. When you recognize that you are suffering, you naturally start seeking understanding and solutions. In today’s world, there is no shortage of information or resources to help—what’s missing is awareness. Awareness allows you to pause and reflect before reacting. It gives you the power to ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way? What’s really behind this emotion?” With awareness, you take back control from the invisible forces shaping your life. The Ripple Effect of Suffering Your suffering doesn’t just affect you—it impacts everyone around you. A single moment of anger, fear, or jealousy can ripple out and influence others in ways you may not even realize. When you heal yourself, you also heal the world around you. Imagine how different history might have been if individuals like Hitler had encountered compassion or healing in their formative years. Every action we take, every word we speak, has the potential to either spread suffering or alleviate it. This isn’t about guilt—it’s about responsibility. Once you’re aware of your suffering, you have the opportunity to act consciously and make better choices for yourself and others. Suffering Is a Teacher Suffering is not inherently bad. It becomes destructive only when it is prolonged and unaddressed. From a spiritual perspective, suffering can teach us life’s most valuable lessons—if we are willing to learn. It’s not the pain itself that holds the lesson but how we respond to it. Do we numb it with distractions, or do we face it and seek to understand it? The sooner you acknowledge and learn from your suffering, the sooner you can free yourself from it. A Path Toward Peace Suffering is not your destiny. It’s a state, not a life sentence. The first step toward freedom is awareness. Start noticing your (FEARtw) feelings, emotions, actions, reactions, thoughts, and words. Observe how they influence your decisions and relationships. When you are aware of your suffering, you are already on the path to understanding and healing. You are no longer a slave to unconscious patterns—you are free to create a better life for yourself and those around you. The choice is yours: continue living in a state of suffering, or awaken to the possibility of peace, joy, and love. Awareness is the key that unlocks the door. Remember: Awareness is the beginning of transformation. Judging someone based on their appearance—or even on your experiences with them—rarely captures who they truly are. When we judge, we often see through the lens of our own past and present states, which can color our perception. This is known as projection: we’re using our own experiences and mental state to interpret someone else’s, often without realizing it.
When you judge a person, you’re often judging the outcomes of their experiences, not the person themselves. Who they are is shaped by a lifetime of unique experiences, struggles, and perspectives that we may never fully understand. So, when you judge, are you truly assessing them, or are you reflecting aspects of yourself? Are you judging their experiences, which you know little about, or projecting your own onto them? This issue becomes even more complex when we judge based on someone’s culture or background. Often, we rely on limited information—perhaps what we’ve read, heard, or experienced in a few interactions with certain individuals. But this narrow lens is insufficient to conclude anything substantial about an entire culture or any person within it. Furthermore, our judgments are influenced by our own cultural understanding, which inevitably shapes our biases. Since no two cultures share the same history, judgments based on these fragments are inherently flawed. This flaw becomes especially damaging when we judge entire groups or races based on limited interactions, leading to stereotyping. If understanding an individual requires deep awareness, imagine the impossibility of truly grasping the diversity of an entire race or culture. In addition to being incomplete, judgment also affects the one doing the judging. Even if we never manifest these judgments into actions, they impact us internally. Judgment rarely brings peace, joy, or love; instead, it stirs subtle emotions like irritation, disgust, and annoyance, and can even escalate to feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, or stress. Imagine the state of mind created by constantly judging someone or a group of people. When judgment becomes habitual, it can cloud our inner peace, draining our energy and well-being. Every little judgment we hold also creates a subtle distance between us and others. These small moments of separation accumulate over time, creating a much larger divide until we feel completely separate from the person or group. This is how judgment slowly builds an illusion of separation from the original unity that binds us all. In truth, we are one, interconnected like threads in a single tapestry, inseparable in the flow of energy that sustains us. The separation we feel is an illusion, constructed by our physical eyes and mind. Each judgment reinforces this illusion, eventually forming a belief system that shapes our decisions and interactions. When we forget our unity and buy into this illusion of separation, we disconnect from our true nature and from the peace that comes from remembering we are all part of each other. It starts with small, seemingly harmless judgments. At first, they might feel insignificant, but over time, these judgments can grow, breaking down relationships between lovers, friends, and family. The disconnection can expand into entire communities, countries, and even lead to global conflicts. Wars, whether personal or political, often begin with small arguments or misunderstandings—rooted in judgments that escalate and spiral out of control. This is the power of judgment: what begins as a small seed of separation can eventually cause massive division and harm. In this way, judgments are fleeting and subjective snapshots—rarely capturing the whole truth of a person or a group. To judge fairly would require fully understanding their experiences, which is nearly impossible. So perhaps the best approach is to hold judgment lightly, with an open mind and heart, remembering the unity that binds us all. All creations and manifestations start with an intention, including this post. Your intention is like an internal compass or steering wheel—it directs the course of your life. Wherever you choose to steer is where you will eventually arrive. Only you truly know your intentions, but others are also affected by them—whether now or later. While people may speculate, only you have real insight into your motives. Yet, it’s not your conscious mind that holds this awareness, but your unconscious mind. Until you become aware of this, you remain both the creator and the victim of your own intentions. So, take the time to truly understand them—and purify your intentions. This message is shared with the pure intention to wish you well, from my heart to yours. Just like an apple tree planted in a small pot, our growth is shaped by the environment we allow ourselves to live in. While the tree can survive in a small container, it will never reach its full potential unless it’s given room to grow. Its roots will remain confined, unable to stretch deep into the soil to gather the nourishment it truly needs. We, too, are often limited by the boundaries we place around ourselves—whether they be self-doubt, fear of failure, or the expectations of others. If we let ourselves stay in a small “pot,” we may survive, but we won’t thrive. We’ll never know how tall we could stand, how far we could reach, or how much we could give to the world. But here’s the truth: we can always choose to outgrow our circumstances. We can break free from those limiting conditions and find a bigger space—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—where we can truly flourish. Take the step today to expand your environment, nurture your soul, and grow beyond what you thought was possible. Your potential is vast, and the world is waiting to see you bloom.  Sunnset at Communications Hill, San Jose, California Seeking approval can be a powerful motivator, driving you to achieve higher and larger goals than you might without it. This behavior aligns with the need for external validation, where your sense of self-worth becomes tied to others’ opinions. However, this same force can also become a never-ending source of suffering, much like being on a hedonic treadmill. No matter how much success you achieve, the feeling of accomplishment is short-lived, and you’re left continually seeking more approval. As a result, you may never feel truly accomplished, even when you’ve achieved significant success. You may not even realize that you're seeking approval, as this behavior can be buried deep in your subconscious. Here are some signs to help you recognize it, along with actionable steps to overcome these tendencies: 1. You get upset when someone challenges your ideas. Why this happens: When your sense of worth is tied to approval, disagreements feel like personal attacks rather than opportunities to learn. Solution: Shift your mindset from seeking validation to seeking growth. Embrace challenges as a way to expand your understanding and consider others' perspectives. 2. You feel a rush of happiness when someone agrees with you, and you want to feel it again. Why this happens: This is a form of external validation where your happiness relies on others’ approval. Solution: Practice self-validation. Ask yourself, “Do I believe in my idea or action regardless of others’ approval?” Develop the habit of internally affirming your decisions based on your values. 3. You often feel superior to others or thrive in competitive environments. Why this happens: Competition can be a way to seek validation by proving you're better than others. Solution: Focus on collaboration instead of competition. Aim to grow alongside others rather than surpassing them. Shift from ego-driven goals to community-oriented objectives. 4. You're addicted to the feeling of success and need to keep achieving more. Why this happens: Achieving success can create a "high," but when that fades, you may feel empty and seek another achievement to fill the void. Solution: Reframe success as an ongoing journey rather than a destination. Practice mindfulness and celebrate your small wins along the way. Develop a sense of contentment with where you are in the present moment. 5. You love recognition and crave being noticed or acknowledged for your efforts. Why this happens: The need for recognition can stem from a lack of internal self-worth. Solution: Cultivate self-recognition. Journaling can help—write down your accomplishments daily and appreciate them, even if no one else does. Practice recognizing your value independent of external praise. 6. You love to argue or prove your point. Why this happens: Constantly defending your ideas can be a way of seeking validation for your beliefs. Solution: Learn to detach your self-worth from being right. Instead of seeking to win arguments, focus on healthy dialogues where both parties can learn and grow. 7. You enjoy seeing others fail or feel envious of their success. Why this happens: When success is tied to external validation, others' achievements can feel like a threat to your own self-worth. Solution: Practice genuine happiness for others' success. This helps shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance, reminding you that there's enough success for everyone. 8. You crave attention or seek validation from others. Why this happens: The desire for attention often comes from an internal void that hasn’t been filled with self-love. Solution: Develop self-compassion and practice being alone without needing external distractions or validation. Meditation and mindfulness can help strengthen your internal sense of worth. 9. You find yourself people-pleasing, sacrificing your own needs to win approval. Why this happens: People-pleasing is a classic form of seeking approval, as it focuses on making others happy at your own expense. Solution: Set boundaries and practice saying no. Realize that your worth isn’t dependent on how much you do for others, but on being true to yourself. 10. You love hearing compliments and constantly seek external praise. Why this happens: Compliments can feel validating, but relying on them can create dependency. Solution: Instead of seeking external praise, learn to give yourself compliments. Practice affirmations and build a positive internal dialogue to reinforce your self-esteem. 11. You struggle to let go of past failures, fearing judgment. Why this happens: Fear of judgment ties your self-worth to your past mistakes. Solution: Embrace failure as a learning experience. Everyone makes mistakes—what matters is how you grow from them. Develop resilience by practicing self-forgiveness. 12. You try too hard to persuade others to believe what you believe. Why this happens: Needing others to agree with you stems from a fear of being wrong or misunderstood. Solution: Accept that not everyone will share your beliefs, and that’s okay. Let go of the need to convince others, focusing instead on having open, respectful discussions. 13. You have an insistent need to be right all the time. Why this happens: Being right can feel like a way to affirm your intelligence or competence. Solution: Practice intellectual humility. Recognize that learning from others, and being open to new ideas, is more valuable than always being right. 14. You frequently complain or seek sympathy from others. Why this happens: Seeking sympathy can be a way of attracting attention and approval from others. Solution: Shift from complaining to problem-solving. Take ownership of your challenges and focus on solutions rather than seeking sympathy. 15. Others' opinions and judgments have a strong impact on your emotions and self-worth. Why this happens: When your self-esteem is based on others' opinions, you become vulnerable to external judgments. Solution: Practice detaching from others’ opinions. Ask yourself, “What do 'I' think?” and work on building a strong internal sense of self that isn’t swayed by external views. 16. You take credit for other people’s work to gain approval. Why this happens: This behavior arises from a desire to appear more competent or accomplished than you feel. Solution: Acknowledge the contributions of others openly and practice gratitude. Recognize that collaboration can be more rewarding than personal accolades. Overcoming approval-seeking behavior is a journey that requires patience and self-awareness. By recognizing these signs and adopting healthier practices, you can shift from relying on external validation to fostering inner confidence and peace. Imagine how liberating and peaceful it would feel to let go of the burden of seeking approval in your life. Cultivating self-esteem from within empowers you to live authentically and freely, without the constant pressure to seek validation from others.  El Corte De Madera Creek Preserve, California, USA Walking along the trail, I reach out to touch the leaves of the trees. In that brief moment, I sense an exchange of energy between us, and I offer them my gratitude—simply for existing and being, for contributing to the world in their quiet, steadfast way. And then it strikes me: shouldn’t I offer this same gratitude to everyone in my life? To appreciate each person, especially those I’ve had conflicts with, for who they truly are, without expecting them to be anything else. This exchange with the trees becomes an exchange of wisdom: Love others just as they are, without expecting more or less from them. - Feelasoulphy  Sunset at Tenaya Lake, Yosemite National Park, California, USA If you're unsure about what aspects of yourself to work on, start by noticing any instances where you tell lies, even small white lies. Ask yourself why you felt the need to be dishonest. Often, there's a deeper reason or truth hiding behind the lie. Uncovering this can lead to profound self-discovery. For instance, the act of lying can sometimes be a defense mechanism or a way to avoid confronting uncomfortable truths or fears. By asking yourself why you felt the need to lie, you can begin to address underlying issues, leading to personal growth and a more authentic life. - Feelasoulphy  If ego gratification fuels your cause, you might resort to unethical actions to satisfy it, risking burnout and even severe irreversible consequences. A lasting motivation requires a higher purpose beyond self-preservation to endure a lifetime. Consider the contrasting stories of Lance Armstrong and Mahatma Gandhi. Armstrong's ego-driven decisions in professional cycling, such as doping scandals, resulted in a downfall. In contrast, Gandhi, motivated by a higher purpose of justice and societal improvement, pursued nonviolent resistance for India's independence. Reflect on whose legacy endures—Armstrong's with consequences or Gandhi's with lessons for current and future generations. Who would you aspire to be? - Feelasoulphy  You don’t have to understand emotions to experience them but when you do understand them you will be able to control them. - Feelasoulphy |
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