 Some people thrive on ambition and achievement, while others feel strangely unmotivated by goals that once seemed meaningful. If you’re highly self-aware, this isn’t a flaw—it’s a signal. As awareness deepens, ego-driven motivation begins to collapse, and the effort behind achievement suddenly feels heavier than the reward. This article explores why high awareness can kill motivation, the hidden difference between ego-based striving and truth-driven expression, and how alignment—not ambition—becomes the real force that moves you forward. Why Some People Don’t Feel the Weight of Work Some people don’t seem to mind the work it takes to achieve in life. They push, grind, build, chase—and they often accomplish a lot. That’s because most achievement is ego-driven. The ego runs on:
Effort feels invisible when the ego is excited. Why Awareness Changes Everything As awareness increases, the illusion weakens. You begin to see:
So when a new project or desire appears, you don’t just see the starting point—you see the entire arc: effort → achievement → short-lived high → restlessness → another goal. And a quiet question emerges: Why start something that won’t actually fulfill me? This hesitation isn’t laziness. It’s clarity. Why It Felt Easier When You Were Younger When you’re younger, desire is simpler. You want something, you work for it, you get it, you feel better—at least for a while. The emotional return feels worth the effort, so you don’t even register the work involved. Back then:
The spell is broken. Ego-Driven Action vs Truth-Driven Expression This is the distinction most people never learn to make. Ego-Driven Action
Even when successful, it often leaves a subtle emptiness. Something feels off—because the action wasn’t aligned with your deepest belief. It was aligned with maintaining an identity. Truth-Driven Expression
When you act from truth, you operate from your pure belief system, not the ego. For example: If I’m honest with myself and recognize that buying a new piece of clothing is purely to satisfy my ego, that awareness changes the choice. Now I hold a clean belief: This is ego-driven. If I go through with it anyway, it feels like subtle self-betrayal—disalignment. But if I honor that belief and choose differently, I experience integrity. Truth creates alignment. Ego creates performance. Why You Hesitate to Start Once you’ve tasted alignment, ego goals feel heavy. You don’t resist work. You resist work that isn’t true. You’re no longer motivated by:
You’re moved by:
And aligned action, while often quieter, feels clean. Self-Reflection: Are You Unmotivated or Just Done With Illusion? Ask yourself—honestly:
These questions require brutal honesty. Without it, clarity gets mislabeled as laziness. The Provocative Truth High awareness kills ego motivation. That’s the price of seeing clearly. Once you recognize the cycle—effort, achievement, dissatisfaction—you can’t unknow it. And when ego stops driving you, nothing external can push you anymore. Now only alignment moves you. That’s dangerous. Because when you can’t lie to yourself, you’re left with two options:
Most people go back to chasing. Very few choose alignment—because it demands honesty over ambition. And once you see the difference, there’s no going back.
0 Comments
 What Is Healing? In the simplest English, healing means “to make whole again, to restore health, to mend what is broken.” But true healing is not limited to the body—it is also emotional, mental, and spiritual. Healing is the process of returning to balance, of easing suffering, of restoring love where love has been absent. Why We Need Healing So many of us walk through life unaware that we are hurting. I didn’t always know I carried pain. I thought my reactions, my triggers, my habits were just “who I was.” But beneath them lived old wounds. And as the saying goes: hurt people hurt people. When we don’t recognize our own pain, it seeps into the way we speak, the choices we make, and the relationships we hold. We end up passing on our unhealed wounds to others—just as others once passed theirs onto us. Healing begins with awareness: to see the wound for what it is, to understand why it formed, and to choose not to keep repeating it. Discovering the Power of Love When I began my healing journey, I discovered that true healing does not come from outside—it comes from love. I had to learn to love myself first. Only then did I understand how to truly love others. Through that, I realized something simple yet life-changing: life is about love—giving it, receiving it, and becoming it. The Greatest Healers Were Lovers The people we remember most as “healers” were not medical doctors with stethoscopes—they were people who loved greatly.
When Love Is Absent History also shows us what happens when love is missing.
We Are All Healers Here’s the truth: every single one of us carries this healing power. You don’t need a degree or a title. A kind word can mend a broken spirit. A gentle touch can soothe pain that lingers unspoken. Your presence, offered without judgment, can bring peace to someone’s storm. Of course, love is not a substitute for medicine. Certain conditions require professional care, and we must honor that. But alongside medicine, love is the force that restores the soul. The Invitation The question is not “Can I heal?” but “Am I willing to love?” Because when you choose love, you choose healing. And when you choose healing, you help mend the world. Read: It's All about Love - Even When It looks Like the Opposite  The Flower Fields, Calsbad, California, USA The Spiritual Purpose Behind Our Shifting Passions, Identities, and Paths Have you ever looked back at your life and wondered, “Who was I back then?” Maybe you went through a spiritual phase, a fitness phase, a minimalist phase, a business-building phase, or even a wild-and-free phase. And now, you’re in an entirely different chapter — with different passions, desires, and even a different sense of self. You’re not flaky. You’re evolving. You’re not lost. You’re learning. You’re not inconsistent. You’re in a phase — and that’s not only normal, it’s necessary. Phases Are How the Soul Grows From a spiritual lens, our souls incarnate with a plan — not a rigid blueprint, but a flexible curriculum. The soul doesn’t want sameness, it wants expansion. And how do we expand? Through experience. Each phase you’ve been through — no matter how random or unrelated it seemed at the time — held a piece of your puzzle. Some taught you discipline. Others cracked your heart open. Some helped you build, while others taught you how to let go. From the soul’s perspective, there’s no such thing as “wasted time.” Only lessons. The Psychology of Phases: You’re Wired to Shift Neurologically speaking, we’re not meant to stay in one mode of operation forever. The human brain is shaped by neuroplasticity, which means it constantly adapts, rewires, and reshapes itself based on what you focus on. When you go through a phase, you’re literally forming new neural pathways. You’re reprogramming your mind. This isn’t failure — it’s progress. Yes, society often glorifies “consistency” and “persistence,” but it forgets that adaptability is just as powerful a form of intelligence. The oak tree is sturdy, but the bamboo survives the storm. When to Shift, When to Stay Here’s the part many people get stuck on — how do you know when it’s time to move on, and when you’re just bored or avoiding something uncomfortable? True soul-guided shifts feel expansive, even if they’re scary. Avoidant shifts feel relieving at first but leave you feeling hollow. Some things are meant to be completed. They require your full presence and persistence — not because you’re “supposed to stick with it,” but because there’s a deep soul lesson embedded in the completion, not the escape. The Gift of Many Selves You are not here to be one fixed character your whole life. You’re a multidimensional being having a multidimensional experience. The version of you who loved painting at 20, the one who dove into meditation at 30, and the one now craving simplicity and nature — they’re all you. None of them were wrong or off-path. They were stepping stones. They were phases. They were part of the unfolding. Imagine doing only one thing your entire life — thinking the same, acting the same, dressing the same, believing the same. That’s not consistency. That’s stagnation. The river flows because it moves. A Reminder for the Multi-Passionate Souls So if you’ve ever been made to feel like you “change too much,” here’s your permission slip: You’re not meant to stay the same. You’re meant to stay true. And “true” will look different depending on the season of your soul. The world needs stable builders and daring shapeshifters. We need the ones who master one path for 40 years — and the ones who master the art of reinvention every 5. What matters most is that you’re conscious of your direction. Let your phases be sacred. Let your seasons be teachers. But also learn to listen: Which ones are calling you to finish the lesson? And which ones are whispering: It’s time to begin again? Final Thought: Phases Are Not Detours They’re the journey itself. Just make sure you’re not jumping ship because of discomfort… And you’re not staying out of fear of change. Complete what you came to complete. And when it’s done — don’t be afraid to move on. Because the next phase might just be the one that unlocks everything.  …and it still might not be good for you. I’ve noticed something strange about life — a pattern I can’t ignore: Almost everything I’ve ever wished for has eventually come true. Sometimes the wish was loud and public. Other times, it was a private whisper, known only to me. But over time, I’ve seen those desires manifest. And not all of them brought joy. People talk about the Law of Attraction, manifestation, vibration — and yes, there’s truth in those. But I want to share what I’ve learned through lived experience, not just ideas: The Psychology of Manifestation When we strongly desire something, we record it in the subconscious. That desire begins to steer our perception, attention, and decisions, even in our dreams — whether we’re aware of it or not. Let’s say I want a BMW M4. Once that desire locks in, every financial move, every opportunity I notice, is filtered through the question: “Will this get me closer to that car?” And eventually… I get it. Not through magic, but through momentum — built from consistent, subconscious alignment. This is how visualization works. It doesn’t bend the universe; it bends you — until your actions match your vision. But here’s the twist… When What You Want Isn’t What You Need I got the car. It was sleek, fast, thrilling. But the more I drove it, the more I could feel something stirring beneath the surface: “If you keep driving like this, something bad is going to happen.” I hadn’t crashed — but I could see the crash in the distance, like a premonition I was creating through habit. And that’s when I had this realization: Just because you get what you want… Doesn’t mean it’s good for you. It’s not the car’s fault. It’s mine. The desire was mine. The reckless energy it activated was already inside me — the car just amplified it. So eventually, I let it go. I traded it in for something more grounded — a hybrid RAV4. Not as fast, but more aligned with the version of me I was becoming — calmer, more conscious, more content. Wanting Wisely Here’s what I’ve learned: The real problem isn’t that we get what we want. The deeper problem is what we want is often based on who we currently are — not who we’re meant to become. Our desires come from our level of consciousness. And as we grow, evolve, and awaken… our desires change. Some of them fall away completely. What once felt like a need becomes laughable. What once felt like success now feels like noise. What once sparkled with temptation now looks hollow. This is the silent gift of spiritual growth: You stop chasing things that no longer match your energy. Desire Isn’t the Enemy — But It Must Be Refined The work is not to suppress desire. The work is to discern it.
Desires born of ego will often be granted — not as rewards, but as lessons. Desires born of awareness tend to arrive with peace — not chaos. The Chinese Farmer Parable There’s a Taoist story I love: A farmer’s son finds a wild horse. The neighbors say, “How lucky!” The farmer replies, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” Later, the son breaks his leg riding the horse. The neighbors say, “How terrible!” The farmer replies again, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” Then war breaks out, and all able young men are drafted — except the son with the broken leg. What looked like a blessing became a curse. What looked like a curse became a blessing. Only time — and consciousness — reveals what’s truly good for us. Final Reflection: Awareness, Desire, Destiny Sometimes we get what we want. Sometimes it hurts. But that hurt is often what wakes us up — and teaches us what we really need. And sometimes, as you evolve, your desires dissolve. You no longer want more — you want less noise. You no longer chase meaning — you embody it. You no longer dream of power — you rest in peace. When your consciousness expands, your desires refine. And eventually, you stop manifesting from craving… And start living from clarity. Closing Thought: Be careful what you wish for — not because you won’t get it, but because you will. And when you do, it will reveal something about you: Who you are. What you value. And whether you’re ready for what you asked for. The real evolution isn’t just getting what you want… It’s becoming someone who only wants what is true.  (Part of The Story Series) Introduction: Why This Story Matters We don’t just tell ourselves stories about who we are or about the people in our lives. We also hold a powerful story about the world itself. Is it safe or dangerous? Friendly or hostile? Full of opportunity or scarcity? Evolving or falling apart? Most of us rarely realize how deeply these beliefs shape not just our choices, but the very reality we participate in creating. “The world we see is a reflection of how we see it.” How It Works in the Mind Your worldview acts like the largest filter of all — the lens through which you interpret everything.
What’s even more important: your personal worldview doesn’t just stay with you. It spreads to those you influence — friends, family, community. Collectively, our worldviews become the shared story that actually drives history. Historic Examples War Through Story Think of leaders who convinced entire nations that their survival required hating another group.
It all began with a story about the world: “They are dangerous. We must destroy them to survive.” Belief Shapes Discovery In contrast:
The collective view literally changed the map. Personal Example Maybe your parents taught you: “The world is a dangerous place. Don’t trust anyone.” Even if they meant to protect you, you might have lived decades with fear, guardedness, and missed opportunities for connection. Or perhaps you were taught: “The world is full of possibilities. People are mostly good.” This story probably made you more open, curious, and willing to try new things. Why It Matters So Much Your worldview doesn’t just stay in your head. It drives your behavior. It influences others. It becomes self-fulfilling. If enough people see the world as hopeless, they stop trying to improve it. If enough people see the world as capable of change, they act — and the world changes. Analogy: The Collective Mirror Imagine humanity standing before a giant mirror. What we see reflected back isn’t objective reality, but the sum of what we believe about the world. If billions see hostility, they behave defensively — and the world becomes hostile. If billions see possibility, they build bridges, invent, heal, and evolve. Good and Bad Stories About the World Good Examples:
Your Reflection Practice Pick a quiet time and write honestly about these prompts:
Your Assignment
Remember: Changing your story about the world is one way you help change the world itself. Closing Thought “We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.” You have the power to choose how you see — and how you help shape what the world becomes. The story you hold isn’t just for you. It’s part of the story we all share. Let’s make it one worth living in. Read: Part 1: The Story We Tell About Ourselves Part 2: The Story We Tell About Others  Have you ever noticed how easy it is to forget what you once believed? We humans have a strange habit I call “Flipping the Coin Syndrome.” We treat our beliefs like a coin in our hand. When we’re staring at one side—the side we now agree with—it feels like the only truth. We forget that the other side even exists. When we learn something new, it’s as if the old belief evaporates. We distance ourselves from it. We disown it. And then, ironically, we often start judging anyone who still holds that old view—as if we were never like them. We forget that the coin still has two sides. Think about it:
In all these cases, the judgment carries a kind of convenient amnesia. It’s as if we want to deny the simple truth that we once stood exactly where they’re standing now. Why do we do this? Perhaps because it’s uncomfortable to hold both sides of the coin in our mind at once. To admit that both perspectives have a reality to them. That our past self wasn’t simply “wrong,” but growing. That the people we’re judging are simply in process, just like we are. We prefer certainty. Simplicity. The security of believing: “Now I’m right. Then I was wrong.” “I’m enlightened. They’re lost.” But reality is rarely so neat. The Cost of Forgetting When we forget the other side of the coin, we don’t just lose empathy for others. We lose humility. We lose the chance to see ourselves as travelers on a path rather than owners of the truth. We also close the door on learning even more. Because what if the side we’re dismissing still has something to teach us? Holding Both Sides What if, instead, we practiced remembering? Remembering where we used to be. Remembering that growth is messy and slow. Remembering that certainty can be a cage. Imagine looking at someone you’re tempted to judge and asking: “What did it feel like to see the world the way they do?” “What did I need when I was there?” “How would I have wanted someone to treat me?” That’s not weakness. It’s wisdom. An Invitation We don’t have to flatten complexity. We can hold it. We can remember both sides of the coin at once. We can let our past selves humble us. We can let other people’s current struggles soften us. We can be firm in our values without forgetting our own evolution. Judgment shrinks the world. Compassion expands it. If you find yourself flipping the coin today, try holding it steady in your palm. Look at both sides. See the whole picture. You might find that truth is bigger than you thought. What’s a belief you’ve changed your mind about? How do you treat people who still hold the view you used to?  Bay Bridge, San Francisco-Oakland, California, USA Growing Up Without Boundaries: My Personal Story Growing up in an authoritative household, I never really had the space to explore my own preferences. My mother made the decisions for me—what I should do, feel, and want. There was no room for my opinions. That pattern shaped me into someone incredibly easygoing—too easygoing, to the point where I didn’t know where I ended and others began. I became someone who just went along with whatever others wanted, thinking that was the path of least resistance. And sure, on one hand, it made me flexible and able to enjoy almost any situation. But the cost? I lost touch with what I wanted. The Cost of Not Having Boundaries I struggled with making decisions. I’d let others take the lead—not out of respect, but out of habit and fear of conflict. I didn’t speak up when something bothered me. And when people—often unknowingly—crossed lines I didn’t even know I had, I’d silently stew. I’d build resentment. And then, instead of addressing the issue, I’d retreat. I became passive-aggressive, slowly backing out of relationships without ever really explaining why. What Healthy Boundaries Really Mean It took me years to realize: boundaries aren’t walls to keep people out. They’re bridges to help others meet us where we are. But to even build that bridge, we have to know where we stand. Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Love and Self-Respect One of the most powerful truths I’ve learned is this: boundaries are not just about protecting yourself from others. They are acts of self-love and self-respect. When you set a boundary, you are sending a message to yourself and the world: "I matter. My feelings, my needs, and my energy deserve to be honored." This is not selfish—it’s sacred. Without boundaries, we give too much, we say yes when we mean no, we bend until we break. And slowly, we disconnect from ourselves. But when we start setting healthy limits, we rebuild that connection. We begin to treat ourselves the way we want others to treat us. And something beautiful happens: when we respect ourselves, others learn to respect us too. Setting boundaries isn’t just about making your life more peaceful—it’s about making your relationships more authentic. When people know what you need and where you stand, they can engage with you honestly, without guessing or overstepping. It’s not only a gift to yourself; it’s a gift to everyone you love. Loving yourself enough to set boundaries is one of the most courageous and compassionate things you can do—not just for you, but for everyone around you. Why Self-Awareness Comes First The first step to creating healthy personal boundaries is self-awareness. We can’t communicate what we need until we understand what makes us feel seen, respected, and safe. Sometimes, what we call a boundary is actually a wound—a sore spot from the past. If someone’s words or actions offend us, it’s worth asking: is this about them, or is it a reflection of something I haven’t healed yet? When we don't do that inner work, we risk setting boundaries based on fear, not freedom. We might end up pushing away the very experiences and people who could help us grow. Examples of Healthy vs. Unhealthy Boundaries That’s why I believe in healthy boundaries—those that are rooted in clarity, not confusion. Here are a few examples: Unhealthy Boundary: “I never let anyone get close to me because I don’t want to be hurt.” Healthy Boundary: “I take my time getting to know people and only open up when I feel emotionally safe.” Unhealthy Boundary: “If someone says something I don’t like, I cut them off immediately.” Healthy Boundary: “If something upsets me, I take a moment to reflect and then have a calm conversation about it.” Unhealthy Boundary: “I let people do whatever they want so I don’t cause drama.” Healthy Boundary: “I express my needs clearly and respectfully, knowing that honest communication builds stronger connections.” How to Communicate Boundaries Effectively Once you've done the inner work and become clear on what your boundaries are, the next step is learning how to express them in a way that is both firm and compassionate. Here are a few proven methods for communicating personal boundaries: 1. Use "I" Statements This helps reduce defensiveness and keeps the focus on your feelings.
2. Be Direct, Not Aggressive Kindness and firmness can coexist. Express your needs without attacking.
3. Set Clear Consequences Boundaries without consequences are just suggestions.
4. Repeat and Reinforce You might have to restate your boundary more than once.
Final Thoughts: Practice Makes Progress Boundaries aren’t about creating distance. They’re about creating clarity. They let others know how to love and respect us. And they teach us how to love and respect ourselves. So if you’ve struggled with boundaries like I have, be gentle with yourself. You’re not broken. You’re learning. Boundaries aren’t something you suddenly master—they’re something you practice. And the more you practice, the more your relationships—starting with the one you have with yourself—begin to thrive.  (Part of The Story Series) Introduction: Why This Story Matters We often believe that the state of our relationships depends on how others behave. But in truth, much of it depends on the story we’ve created about them in our mind. “She’s cold and doesn’t care about me.” “He’s manipulative.” “They always try to control me.” “They’re selfish. They’ll never change.” These stories may contain truths. They may have grown from real pain, real betrayal, or real patterns we’ve observed over time. But here’s what’s also true: The story we tell about someone becomes the lens through which we see them. And over time, that lens becomes a wall. It holds us back from forgiveness. It keeps us distant from people we may still care about. It locks us in resentment and prevents us from healing. Sometimes, these stories even bleed into how we relate to other people, causing patterns of mistrust, avoidance, or guardedness in entirely new relationships. What’s Happening in the Mind When you’ve been hurt, your mind forms a narrative to protect you. It says: “This is what they did. This is who they are. And I won’t let it happen again.” The brain links pain with identity: “This person caused this pain — therefore, they are dangerous.” It’s a survival instinct — but it can become a spiritual and emotional prison. Even if the story is partly true (e.g. “they are manipulative”), it becomes an identity label. And when we see someone only through their ego patterns, we stop seeing their humanity. An Example: The Manipulator Let’s say someone in your life constantly manipulates you. It’s exhausting. It’s real. You’ve felt used, maybe even emotionally twisted. So the story becomes: “They’re a manipulative person who’s always trying to get what they want.” But now pause — and go deeper. Ask yourself:
Maybe manipulation was the only way they could get love, safety, or validation when they were young. Maybe they still use it because they don’t know how to ask for their needs honestly. Understanding this doesn’t excuse the behavior — it softens your heart, so you don’t meet pain with more pain. A Powerful Example: The Movie “Pig” In the film Pig, the main character seeks revenge for the loss of his beloved animal. When he finally meets the man who stole from him, he doesn’t attack or retaliate. Instead, he cooks him a meal — a dish tied to a loving memory the man shared with his wife who is now unconscious due to illness. That act bypassed the ego and touched the man’s heart. The wall crumbled. Emotion broke through. And healing began. This is what happens when we stop fighting the ego and begin speaking to the soul. Compassion is Not Weakness This work is not about denying your hurt, or pretending everything’s okay. It’s not about letting people continue to harm you. It’s about choosing to see the full picture, so your responses come from clarity, not pain. You can:
Why This Work Is Hard (and Worth It) Some people may still trigger you. You may rewrite the story one day, then snap back into the old version the next. That’s okay. It’s all part of reconditioning the mind. You’re not trying to erase the old story in one sitting. You’re practicing a new way of seeing. And with practice, you’ll return to your heart more easily and more often. Your Reflection Practice Choose someone in your life who is important to you — especially someone with whom you’ve had conflict, distance, or emotional pain. This can be someone from the past or present. Then journal through the following prompts:
Your Assignment
Closing Thought When you change your story about others, you don’t just heal the relationship — you heal your own heart. You stop carrying old pain forward. You soften the space between you and them. And even if they never change, you do. And that change? That peace? That shift in energy? It changes everything. Read: Part 1: The Story We Tell About Ourselves Part 3: The Story We Tell About the World  A guide to understanding and rewriting the inner story that shapes your life Introduction One of the most powerful forces in your life is the story you tell yourself. This story — about who you are, what the world is like, and what is possible — runs in the background of your mind all the time. It shapes:
Most of us rarely examine this story consciously. Often it was written for us by others: parents, teachers, culture, media, past experiences. But here’s the good news: you are the author of your story and you have the pen in your hand. You can rewrite it. And when you do, your life begins to change. Why is your story so important? Your brain is a storytelling machine. It is always trying to make sense of the world by building a narrative. This narrative acts like a filter through which you experience life. You don’t experience life directly — you experience it through the lens of your story. How this works in the mind (psychology):
In other words: we live inside our story more than we live inside objective reality. Analogies to help you understand: Your story is like your glasses. Every day, you put on “story glasses.” If they say “Life is a struggle,” you’ll notice struggle everywhere. If they say “I’m someone who makes a difference,” you’ll find opportunities to do so. We don’t see life as it is — we see it as our story tells us it is. Your story is like your brain’s operating system. Just like your phone runs on iOS or Android, your mind runs on a “story operating system.” If it’s an outdated OS written by fear or old beliefs, it limits what you can do and experience. When you rewrite your story, you upgrade your OS — and life runs smoother, freer, more aligned with who you really are today. Visual: The Story Cycle
If you change the story, the whole cycle begins to shift. Real-life examples: “I’m not creative.” A woman believed she wasn’t creative because of one teacher’s comment years ago. She rewrote the story and became an artist and a poet. “People will always disappoint me.” A man carried this story from past betrayal. It made him guarded in relationships, which led people to pull away. When he rewrote his story to allow trust where it is earned, his relationships transformed. “The world is dangerous and getting worse.” A woman consumed only negative news and became anxious and withdrawn. By balancing her inputs and rewriting her story to acknowledge both challenges and goodness, her anxiety eased and she re-engaged with life. The Work: I encourage you to reflect deeply on the story you tell yourself — and to start consciously rewriting it if needed. Here are the questions you can work through: Reflection Questions — The Story You Tell Yourself 1. What’s the story you always tell yourself? (Example: “I’m someone who struggles with relationships.” Or “I’m a guide and healer helping others.”) 2. How does it make you feel when you run that story through your head? 3. How do you like your story? (Is it empowering? Limiting? Fulfilling?) 4. Where do you think you got the story from? (Parents? Culture? Past experiences? Media? Your own reflection?) 5. How valid or truthful do you think your story is? (How much of it is still true? How much is an old version of you?) 6. If you had a chance to rewrite your story, how would you do it? (What story would serve you better now?) Final thoughts “Stories are powerful — but remember this: you are the storyteller. Every day is a new page.” I encourage you to take this process seriously. The more conscious you become of your inner story, the more freedom, clarity, and joy you will experience in life. Read: Part 2: The Story We Tell About Others Part 3: The Story We Tell About the World  Bella From the day we’re born, we are entangled with love. It begins before we even know the word—when we’re held, fed, smiled at (or not). That early interaction sets a blueprint for what love feels like. And more importantly, it shapes how we believe we must behave in order to receive it. Most people assume love is just a spiritual ideal—something soft and poetic that we strive for in relationships or spiritual teachings. But what most don’t realize is this: Love is also psychological. Love is biological. Love is survival. When people behave badly—when they lie, control, dominate, brag, lash out—it doesn’t look like love at all. But if you trace it all the way back to the root, it always leads to love. Or more specifically: the need to be loved. The Example of Donald Trump Let’s take a figure who represents dominance, pride, and controversy: Donald Trump. To many, he’s arrogant, aggressive, self-obsessed, divisive. He boasts about being a winner, having the best words, the highest ratings, the strongest policies. He demands loyalty. He hates being criticized. He portrays himself as the savior of America and insists the world recognize his greatness. At first glance, none of this sounds like a man seeking love. It sounds like a man seeking power. But look closer. Power is often a substitute for love. It’s what people reach for when they don’t believe they can simply be loved for who they are. When a person constantly brags, what are they really saying? “Please see me. Please tell me I matter. Please validate that I’m good enough.” When someone can’t tolerate being wrong, they’re often screaming inside: “I don’t feel safe being vulnerable. If I’m flawed, I won’t be loved.” Everything becomes a performance to prove their worth—because deep down, they never felt loved without having to earn it. Broken Strategies for Love We all have our own twisted strategies for getting love, based on what we learned in childhood. Some people:
Trump’s behavior is just a loud, extreme example of what we all do in subtler ways. If you look past the politics, the headlines, and your opinion of him—you’ll see a scared child inside a powerful man, still trying to prove he is worthy of love. This Isn’t About Justifying Harm Understanding that people are wounded doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior. Compassion and accountability must coexist. But when we look at human behavior through the lens of “This person is trying to get love in the only way they know how,” it breaks the cycle of judgment and hatred. And it helps us do the same for ourselves. Love: The Hidden Force Behind It All This is why spiritual teachers keep saying: “Life is all about love.” Not because it’s a feel-good phrase, but because it’s the underlying motivator behind everything we do. Whether we’re succeeding, sabotaging, pushing people away, or drawing them close-- we’re just trying to get back to the feeling of being safe, seen, and accepted. We want what we were born for. We want what the soul remembers. We want love. This is also why so many people love having pets. On a conscious or unconscious level, we are drawn to animals because they offer us an experience of unconditional love—whether we’re receiving it or giving it. Your dog doesn’t care how much money you make or how many mistakes you’ve made. They love you when you’re a mess and when you’re on top of the world. They’re excited to see you come home and sad when you leave. That’s not neediness—it’s devotion. Remember this: you may have many people in your life, but your pet only has you. You are their one and only source of love. So be gentle with them. Take good care of them. They too just want to feel loved—just like you. A Practice for Reflection Next time you catch yourself:
Pause and ask: “What am I really trying to get right now?” “How am I trying to get love?” Then take it a step further and ask: “Who might be hurting because of how I’m trying to get love?” “What is the cost of my unmet needs for the person on the receiving end?” And when you witness someone else behaving badly, try asking: “What twisted strategy for love might they be using?” Just because you’re trying to feel loved doesn’t mean others aren’t feeling unloved in the process. Be mindful: the ways we reach for love—if rooted in fear, control, or insecurity—can push others away or even harm them. And when that happens, we’re not only not getting the love we want, we’re also blocking the love we already have. Healing begins with awareness. Love begins with responsibility. Final Thought The world doesn’t need more punishment. It needs more understanding. It needs more people willing to look beneath the behavior and see the wound. That doesn’t mean tolerating abuse or enabling harm. It means living from the wisdom that says: “Even the most unlovable-seeming person is trying, in their own broken way, to be loved.” That, too, includes you. This post is dedicated to my favoriate dog in the world - Bella, who guided me to this deeper realization about love. Read: The Healing Power of Love |
AuthorFeelasoulphy Categories
All
Archives
May 2025
|
RSS Feed